I am loving how God uses things and people in your life to bring you closer to Him and strengthen your trust in Him. I've never seen that as clearly in my life as I have in the last year or so, and especially the last few months. Everything really does happen for a reason and I've been able to see that without certain hardships in life we may not ever learn to fully rely on God and give up complete control to Him. I am seeing that right now with our financial struggles. When we made the decision for me to stay at home with Katelyn, we planned it out, and we were doing okay then, so we agreed that we would do it as long as we financially could handle it. Most people probably know that lately we have been struggling and not sure we can handle it much longer now....so we are now facing the decision for me to go back to work or stay at home. It has been so hard, but I am fully leaving it in God's hands. I know in my heart that I am meant to be a stay at home mom, and I really believe that is what God wants and is His plan for me as well...but I also have no problem working for awhile to help us get back on track, so I'm going to be substitute teaching, which is the kind of flexible job I need to still be able to still meet Katelyn's needs....but I still don't know if that's going to be enough, and so I've been praying for some kind of resolution, or opportunity from God that will allow us to be stable enough for me to stay home and not have to find a higher paying, more demanding job than what subbing offers. I know God is faithful and I've been praying that if I am truly meant to stay home full time that He will open a door with an opportunity that will allow that to happen....whether it be a promotion or raise for my husband, or somehow coming into a big sum of money, or even lessening our debt somehow, I know that He will provide that opportunity. And, if His Will is for me to indeed go back to work full or part time, I know that He will open a door with an opportunity for that. While I still worry sometimes, I am finding myself stopping that kind of thinking more and more and just giving it to God in that moment. Some people may think that is silly and I'm just sitting around doing nothing to try to change my financial situation, but I know that it is not my battle to fight....God doesn't want me to try to fight it and take care of it myself....it is His battle, and He will fight it for me and provide what we need.
So right now I'm waiting on Him to show me what it is He wants me to do. It's hard, but there is no other option but to have faith and trust. I'm actively waiting, I guess I should say, because I'm still pursuing subbing or other on the side jobs that still allow me to be with Katelyn when needed....which would be ideal, but we will just wait and see how everything turns out. I am trusting what I know, and what I know is that God is a faithful God and will never give us more than we can handle. That, along with my women's bible study is what is helping me hold on. That's another thing......my women's bible study is AMAZING!! I love how God works....He knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it.....my Wisdom for Mothers study is a lifesaver, and I am so thankful for God's timing in bringing this to me. It's so wonderful to meet other moms who have the same struggles that I am having as a mom, wife, and woman, and I am loving learning biblical solutions to handle the demands of motherhood, and awesome mothering skills to help bring up Katelyn as a godly person. Tuesdays are now my favorite day of the week. Lol. I am so glad I found this study while Katelyn is so young....it is completely transforming the course of my mommyhood! And on top of it all, it is helping me to get more in depth into the bible and that in and of itself is its own lifesaver! :) I love reading the bible regularly anyway, but this study is forcing me to get more deep with is, and I love that!
Anyway, that's my life as of late. Faith in the good times, Faith in the bad times. I can't complain (even though I do at times, lol.....but God always brings me back to where I need to be somehow). I am learning to love life through the struggles and imperfections, and just give it all up to God.
No comments:
Post a Comment