To Spank, or Not to Spank?

So I've always had a strong personal opinion on this topic, but now that I am becoming a parent myself, it's really been weighing on my mind more often. Now, before I go off on a tangent on my soap box, here me when I say I'm not intending to cause a sparked debate or controversy, and I'm not against spanking, but I'm not completely for it either. I am not one of those people who are crazy advocates of not spanking, but I don't like the stereotypical views that old school, hardcore pro-spanking people have against those of us who don't believe that spanking should be the first or necessarily the most appropriate option for discipline. And I'm so glad that my hubby and I are on the same page with this topic! 
Yes, at one point in high school and some of college, I WAS 100% against spanking, but after getting my psychology degree and taking multiple child abuse and child psychology classes in college, and becoming a teacher, the research and classroom has caused me to sway onto the moderate side within the last 5-6 years. I consider myself in the middle when it comes to spanking children, because I do believe that spanking has its place and effectiveness, but I have a lot of beef with many spanking principles that a lot of people have, and I don't think a lot of people get how it should be...I don't always think that spanking is the best discipline choice. 
So, soap box turned ON:
 It's really annoying to see or hear about parents spanking their children 24/7, but not doing it right, then wondering and complaining about why their child's behavior hasn't changed. I believe spanking has its time and place, but the problem I have is that many parents don't spank effectively. I know I don't have personal experience with my own child YET, but growing up being spanked, and with all the years of research I've done on this, I believe that there is a right way to spank, and it won't work unless the child is old enough to have a discussion about and understand why they were spanked and why their behavior was not acceptable.


Another problem is that so many parents spank out of anger, not out of love, or to teach right from wrong, like it should be. I was spanked as a child, and I love my parents, but I must say that it never did one bit of good for me. Why? Because I could always see that I was being spanked out of anger, just because my parents were mad about what I did, and they wanted me to stop my immediate behavior. There was never a discussion about my behavior, or why it wasn't okay, or what would happen in the future if I did it again. Sure it got me to stop momentarily, but I never learned anything from it, and almost always the behavior occurred again in the future. It just grinds my gears when I see people spanking this way, because it really just fosters resentment from the child as they grow up. 
I'm not saying it's easy to discipline effectively, but I believe it's definitely necessary and vital to successfully raising an emotionally stable, healthy child. I think sometimes spanking is the best option, but shouldn't always be the first resort that parents run to. I believe that other disciplinary options, like positive reinforcement, time outs, and taking away privileges are great places to start, depending on the severity of the behavior. And spanking will never be effective if the child doesn't understand the reasoning behind the spanking. Without that, they will never learn, and the behavior will most likely return and even increase in time. Now I definitely will spank my children whenever necessary and when it appropriately fits the behavior as the best consequence, but never will it be without a discussion. And I feel that this is the best way to effectively spank. It just hurts my heart when I see parents hindering their children's emotional wellbeing by using spanking for their own personal issues, and not for the sake of teaching right from wrong....that's why so many children grow up resentful, and with anger issues today....I'm not saying that's the only reason and parents are fully to blame, but it's a huge part of the issue I think. 
And I don't mean to harp on parents who are guilty of spanking this way, and I don't mean to hit any controversial buttons or imply that parents are "bad parents" if they spank ineffectively....I am not judging anyone or their parenting skills here...I understand that I am low on the totem pole when it comes to experience with my own child, since she is still in the womb....I just believe that the only way for anyone to ever learn or change is to get the dialogue going, and minds thinking about how to be the best and most effective parent they can be. Being a teacher has taught me so much about children's behaviors and motivations, and I've seen how big of a problem the parents CAN be. Not spanking at all can be just as huge of a hindrance for a child as spanking ineffectively, depending on the child and the parent. But what's important is to get people thinking about how to not necessarily spank better, but DISCIPLINE better. That's all this is, me thinking about what I want my parenting style to be as I  raise my babygirl. Because in the end, that's what it's all about right? The children.....and guiding them to become healthy, emotionally stable children and successful adults. 
Okay, Soap Box OFF. 
Sorry for the tangent, I've just always felt strongly about this, and it's been on my mind a lot more lately since I'm expecting, and Matt and I have been thinking about how we want to raise our babygirl Katelyn. I'm just thankful I have a loving hubby who agrees with this philosophy! So, yeah, that's all for now....hopefully no one was offended by this....it was not meant to start any debate or controversy.....just my thoughts and opinions!  :)